A Chicken and Dumplin' Disaster!

I absolutely LOVE chicken & dumplings. I have loved them since I was a little girl and my grandma made them 100% from scratch. Every time I go to Cracker Barrel, please believe – I order the chicken & dumplings. I even loved the C&D at our high school. I have been craving this meal for quite some time, so  I broke down and called my mom for the family recipe. I made a shopping list and even researched and printed off coupons for many of the items I needed (I am learning to be frugal!).

The kicker: My mom suggested I get a whole chicken, cover it with foil and cook it in the oven for about an hour. She said it makes the chicken super juicy, tender and delicious. Yeahhhh …. she failed to tell me how disgusting prepping the chicken was going to be!!

BUT – not to worry. I thought to myself, I am a grown woman. I love to cook. This is just a measly little chicken. There is no reason I can’t handle this. So, I sucked it up and got down to business. I removed the chicken from the packaging and rinsed it off in the sink.

It was a little slimy and his skin was stretchy, but hey, nothing I can’t handle. Then I was stuck! I didn’t know what to do next. So I called my mom (a.k.a. my lifesaver every time I am in the kitchen) for step-by-step instructions. And that’s where it stopped. The second I realized I had to pry its frozen legs open (apparently it hadn’t thawed all the way), I had to stop. And THAT’s when I called in my Knight in Shining Armor (a.k.a. the boyfriend.) Not that he has prepped a whole chicken before, but better him being grossed out than me, right? So here we are:

I am on the phone with my mom. My mom is telling me what to do. I am relaying the instructions to Jimmy (my Knight). Jimmy is dealing with the chicken. And my mom is hysterically laughing at this entire situation. Watch for yourself, if you’re brave enough! Click to watch the “chicken video”.

At this point, my mom (all the way in Savannah, GA) has us on speakerphone and she and my step dad are DYING laughing. Did I mention that their dog ran in to a screen door (twice) trying to get in on the excitement?!

What I don’t understand – why would they go through all that trouble to remove the insides, only to stick them in a bag and stuff them back in the chicken? So, as you can see from the video, he finally got the little baggie out, dumped the juices and rinsed out that nasty little sucker.We dried him off, laid him in his final resting place, salt and peppered him to death, placed him in the oven, and said “so long” for the next hour.

So we thought ….

An hour rolls around, still a raw chicken. Two hours rolls around, still has a long way to go. By this point it is 8:30 p.m., we are hungry and that dang chicken is my worst enemy. So we did what any normal person would do – called an angel (a.k.a. Papa John’s)! Sure it was going to be another 45 minutes before that sent-from-Heaven delivery man showed up at our doorstep, but I no longer had any desire to cook at this point. So instead of slaving away in the kitchen any longer, I poured a glass of Pinot Noir, snuggled on the couch, propped my feet up and relaxed.

 43 minutes on the dot, our doorbell rings and dinner was served. And it was de-lic-ious!

Well, Wednesday rolls around and I finally had a chance to pick up where I left off – with a COOKED chicken this time – and made our chicken & dumplings.

Lesson learned: Go with a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken next time or stick with pre-cut chicken that can go straight in a pot for boiling. Better yet, I’ll just go to Cracker Barrel for the real thing … without the disaster!

Leave a comment

  1. November 21, 2011 / 2:39 pm

    Oh gosh, you got it even worse!!! YUCK!!!!

  2. November 19, 2011 / 12:22 am

    Ok hilarious. Next time throw it in a crock pot w water or chicken stock. Much easier & very juicy.I can relate to this bc one day Adam brought home some frozen chicken from work. We cooked it up in the crock pot to shred it for home-made chicken salad…then I remembered it should have had a bag…well, imagine my surprise when everything was in there (no bag) but definitely saw the heart…liver…and other gross goodies I could have gone without ever seeing. Blech

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