The kicker: My mom suggested I get a whole chicken, cover it with foil and cook it in the oven for about an hour. She said it makes the chicken super juicy, tender and delicious. Yeahhhh …. she failed to tell me how disgusting prepping the chicken was going to be!!
BUT – not to worry. I thought to myself, I am a grown woman. I love to cook. This is just a measly little chicken. There is no reason I can’t handle this. So, I sucked it up and got down to business. I removed the chicken from the packaging and rinsed it off in the sink.
It was a little slimy and his skin was stretchy, but hey, nothing I can’t handle. Then I was stuck! I didn’t know what to do next. So I called my mom (a.k.a. my lifesaver every time I am in the kitchen) for step-by-step instructions. And that’s where it stopped. The second I realized I had to pry its frozen legs open (apparently it hadn’t thawed all the way), I had to stop. And THAT’s when I called in my Knight in Shining Armor (a.k.a. the boyfriend.) Not that he has prepped a whole chicken before, but better him being grossed out than me, right? So here we are:
I am on the phone with my mom. My mom is telling me what to do. I am relaying the instructions to Jimmy (my Knight). Jimmy is dealing with the chicken. And my mom is hysterically laughing at this entire situation. Watch for yourself, if you’re brave enough! Click to watch the “chicken video”.
At this point, my mom (all the way in Savannah, GA) has us on speakerphone and she and my step dad are DYING laughing. Did I mention that their dog ran in to a screen door (twice) trying to get in on the excitement?!
So we thought ….
An hour rolls around, still a raw chicken. Two hours rolls around, still has a long way to go. By this point it is 8:30 p.m., we are hungry and that dang chicken is my worst enemy. So we did what any normal person would do – called an angel (a.k.a. Papa John’s)! Sure it was going to be another 45 minutes before that sent-from-Heaven delivery man showed up at our doorstep, but I no longer had any desire to cook at this point. So instead of slaving away in the kitchen any longer, I poured a glass of Pinot Noir, snuggled on the couch, propped my feet up and relaxed.
Well, Wednesday rolls around and I finally had a chance to pick up where I left off – with a COOKED chicken this time – and made our chicken & dumplings.
Lesson learned: Go with a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken next time or stick with pre-cut chicken that can go straight in a pot for boiling. Better yet, I’ll just go to Cracker Barrel for the real thing … without the disaster!